Rules of etiquette: 8 phrases that you should stop using long ago
We often say certain phrases with good intentions, not wanting to offend or hurt the other person. However, these words are misunderstood, and situations arise when you may be considered an ill-mannered or even rude person.
To avoid such misunderstandings, you should know the rules of conversational etiquette. OBOZREVATEL figured out which phrases should be stopped.
"You look exhausted/tired"
You don't need to be so blunt about the fact that a person doesn't look their best. Tired people are not very attractive - they have dark circles under their eyes, unkempt hair, etc. When people are exhausted, they start to have problems concentrating and become clumsy.
Saying to someone: "you look tired" means to note all the above shortcomings. At the very least, it's rude. If you are worried about a person, just ask: "Is everything okay?", avoiding assessments of appearance. If the other person wants to, they will share their feelings.
"As I said before", "And I have already said"
If the other person asks for information that you have already shared recently, do not emphasize it. Just repeat it calmly and continue the conversation. You may not have been heard or misunderstood. Try to speak more clearly and use your tone of voice to emphasize important points in the conversation.
"You've lost a hundred pounds"
You seem to want to compliment a person who has managed to lose weight, but phrases like "wow, you've lost a ton of weight" can be very offensive. The person will immediately get the impression that they used to look too fat and unattractive.
Instead, say: "you look fantastic", "you look great", etc. No need for ties to the past or comparisons. Just give a compliment.
"You look great for your age"
Again, we don't make any reference to age. Just give a compliment. Do not focus on details that may seem superfluous. For example, do not say phrases like: "you're too smart for a football player," "you read too much for a model," "you're too thin for a new mom," etc. This gives the impression of condescension and rudeness.
"Do as you please"
A passive-aggressive phrase that should be avoided. These words are definitely in the vocabulary of manipulators and toxic people. If a person asks for your opinion, it means that it is important to them. "Do as you like," "I don't care," "whatever you want" - no one wants to hear such words in response to a question or request.
"At least I would never..."
This is a manipulative and aggressive way of pointing out someone's mistake. Yes, someone may have done something inappropriate, but you shouldn't constantly remind them of it. Admitting a mistake is the best way to prevent unnecessary conflicts.
"You always..."/"You never..."
Such generalizing phrases are also very manipulative. They make the interlocutor "defend" and "close" themselves from your words. Avoid evaluative phrases that can be very offensive and emphasize negative character traits.
Phrases such as "you always..." or "you never" indicate that you underestimate a person's character and emphasize that the other person is not capable of learning from their mistakes.
If you need to make a comment to someone, do it correctly. Not "you're always late for work, you're always late," but "I noticed that you come to work 20-30 minutes late, could you explain what the reason is?"
"You were too cool for them"
These are often used to comfort a person who has ended a romantic relationship or been fired from a job. Say "their loss" instead, which expresses optimism and support without a hint of criticism.
Earlier, OBOZREVATEL told you what habit annoys almost all people.