Is it okay to swear in front of the kids?
There are two types of marital quarrels in a family psychology,: destructive and constructive.
Children who face destructive conflicts characterized by threats, physical force, abusive language and demonstrative behavior are prone to developing depression, anxiety, aggression and violations of discipline and social norms. Whereas children who see their parents argue constructively from an early age develop independent judgment, tolerance, avoid stereotypical thinking and subordination, and display prosocial behaviors such as friendliness, sociability, teamwork, and helping others.
How to argue in front of children?
To learn how to argue in the presence of children, you can recognize the validity of marital disputes and don't hide the fact that sometimes you disagree with each other and argue from your children. In addition, you can try to choose more appropriate expressions, avoid shouting, swearing, and throwing objects.
You should not involve your child in a quarrel, force them to choose a side or ask them who he likes or agrees with more.
If you realize that it is difficult to restrain yourself, try to say in a calm tone: "I don't want to continue this argument now, let's discuss it later," and resume the conversation when you are sure that the child is safe and cannot see or hear you.
There are four rules you can follow to turn ordinary marital disputes into constructive discussions:
- Consider the clash as a discussion, not an open conflict.
- Argue as if you are right, but listen as if you are wrong.
- Try to interpret your spouse's point of view with maximum respect.
- Recognize the moments when you agree with the other party.
Following these rules will help you and your partner turn disputes into mutual understanding and an opportunity to build a more harmonious relationship.
It is important to remember that disputes in the family are inevitable and the way you handle them is of great importance for the development of your children.
P.S. Did your parents ever swear in front of you? How did you feel about it?