What rules to follow at the beginning of a relationship: tips for women

Honesty and mutual respect are the key to a successful relationship in the long run

Starting a new relationship is a very exciting moment in life. You want to feel the thrill and happiness from them in full. However, you can get carried away and make mistakes. Miss a lot of alarming signals or just burn out early.

But can these problems be avoided? Psychologists are convinced that yes. To do this, you need to adhere to certain rules, a kind of safety technique, which will help crazy in love to grow into a mature and healthy relationship. OBOZREVATEL tells about these rules. Usually women are advised to follow them, but in fact it is quite universal advice that will help men as well.

Take your time

No matter how much butterflies in your stomach encourage you to dive headfirst into the whirlwind of relationships, give yourself time to figure out how you really feel and take a closer look at the person next to you. Enjoy the first dates and pleasant communication, learn more about each other and your compatibility. And in any case do not listen to those who say that it is time for you to move on to this or that stage of the relationship. This is your life and only you can decide what and when it will be on time.

Be honest

In a relationship, honesty with both your partner and yourself is important. Discuss what you want from the relationship. Disagreements in goals and views on life can cause serious conflicts and cause you considerable pain, so these cards should be put on the table at once.

Speak directly to each other

We can't read each other's minds and usually don't understand hints, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Therefore, if you want something from your partner, tell him about it directly. And formulate your thoughts in the form of I-message. Not "you're doing something wrong" - that's an accusation and a value judgment, which may be unfounded, but "I don't like it when you do it this way" - so you will tell about your objective feelings and start a conversation about finding a compromise.

Make time for yourself

No matter how wonderful your new partner is, the main person in your life is still you. Therefore, you should not sacrifice your interests for the sake of a new relationship and it is important to leave room for your personal habits and routine. Firstly, these interests are what make you the person who attracted your partner. Secondly, this way you will avoid additional disappointment if the relationship doesn't work out - you won't feel like you've wasted too much of your resource. Leave the same opportunity to your partner.

Don't ignore the warning bells

If you feel like your partner is showing signs of abuser behavior or constantly doing something you don't like, don't convince yourself that it's a fluke. Discuss these things. Be frank about what is bothering you. If it really is an accident, you may be able to reach a compromise. If not, consider whether you will be willing to stay with this person when that bell rings and it becomes a real alarm bell.

Respect each other

Couples who have been together for decades and kept their relationship intact often say that mutual respect is even more important than love in the long run. Don't violate each other's boundaries, look for things to admire in your partner, and treat each other with kindness. This is the key to a successful relationship.

Do not compare yourself with others

Life is not a competition of whose relationship looks better. You never know what is really hidden behind the beautiful facade, and what tragedies may be happening in other couples between posting idyllic photos on Instagram. So don't try to compete with others, focus solely on what's going on in your relationship. After all, they are the most important thing to you.

Learn to compromise

Learning to sometimes give in to your interests for the sake of shared happiness is a very important skill for building a strong relationship. But it doesn't have to be a complete abandonment of your individuality in favor of your partner's comfort. It's a two-way movement, the goal of which is to make both of you happy, not to make one happy at the expense of the other.

Don't forget about romance

Every couple has its own idea of romance. For someone it is breakfast in bed and a bunch of flowers every weekend, for someone - a joint trip with tents to the mountains or to a soccer match, and someone - all together and periodically dancing in the living room. The main thing is not to forget about these small pleasant rituals for two. It is they help to refresh feelings even those couples who live together for a very long time, and do not let them get bogged down in routine. Find time for such pleasant moments at least sometimes, please each other with nice surprises.

Avoid manipulation

Always catch yourself on the desire to get your partner to achieve their own indirect methods. Artificially cause jealousy, feign resentment, appeal to guilt - all these steps not only do not strengthen the relationship, but can even split the seemingly harmonious relationship. Honesty is the best policy. It is an axiom.

Earlier OBOZREVATEL told what phrases can give out in a man manipulator.

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