Each of us is familiar with this unpleasant type of person, who presses on painful points and manipulates self-esteem to get their own way. They are commonly referred to as toxic, because dealing with them makes our lives miserable. Fortunately, you can recognize them almost immediately after meeting them. And even in online communication.

OBOZREVATEL collected a list of signals that may indicate that you are dealing with a toxic person. If you notice anything like that in communication or messaging, take a closer look at your interlocutor, perhaps you should not get close to this person.

They require a response immediately

Online communication is not meant to be instantaneous, because a message can come when you are very busy with something. If you get a bunch of questions after the first message: "Why aren't you answering me?" and, heaven forbid, you have a few missed calls, you're trying to be controlled. And that's a sign of toxicity.

They want to know everything about you

Usually toxics do not resort to this tactic right away, but only after a relationship has been established between you. Feeling even minimally important, they begin to ask where you are, with whom, what you spend money on, demand photographic proof of where you are and excuses. It is not possible to breathe freely with such a person. Moreover, such behavior can turn into abuse, including physical violence. It is better to say goodbye at once.

They know best what to do

Approximately the same is evidenced by trying to decide everything for you. Who to communicate with, where to go, what to do and what to be interested in, how to look. You will never be able to satisfy all the requirements of such a person. So it is better not to even try.

They provoke your feelings of guilt

Toxic people just don't know how to communicate calmly. They always try to make it look like they are the victim and you are the abuser. "You're not interested in me anymore," "You don't take me with you - you don't love me," "You're always hiding things from me," are all powerful red flags. If they are combined with threats to do something to yourself or to you - from a ban to physical violence - run away immediately. For the next step is to say, "It's your fault I hit you, you shouldn't have done that.

They are jealous

Any manifestations of jealousy are evidence of a person's deep insecurity. Often this translates into attempts to assert oneself at the expense of rigid control and perpetual dissatisfaction. This behavior can be corrected, for example, with the help of psychotherapy. But in order to do this jealous man or jealousess must want to. Think about whether you are ready to wait for this moment for the sake of this person.

They resort to gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that tries to convince you that your feelings and impressions are wrong. "You imagined it," "It was just a joke, you have no sense of humor at all," "You're overreacting. These manipulations can do considerable damage to the psyche. So stay away from gayslighters.

They demand candid photos of you

Online flirting can be very hot. But you should always remember the risk that your nude photos and videos will be used for not very noble purposes. There is even such a notion as porn revenge - this is when explicit materials are posted in the public domain or sent to acquaintances after a quarrel, a breakup, etc. So don't agree to send such footage if you don't know the person well enough. If he insists on it, it's better to stop communicating right away.

They are invading your personal space

If a person immediately starts looking over your phone screen over your shoulder, demanding screenshots and urging you to give him an unlocked gadget to check, it shows his unwillingness to recognize your personal boundaries. Claims that this is the only way a person can be sure that you can be trusted are a cruel manipulation.

How do you respond to toxic messages?

The easiest way out, of course, is to ban the toxicist right away. But there is always the possibility that a communication error has occurred between you, so consider how willing you are to give the person a second chance.

If you decide to continue communicating, set clear boundaries. Say what you don't like, what embarrasses you, and why. Non-toxic person will accept the rules of the game and be able to apologize if they are violated.

However, if the pressure, manipulation and swaying of emotions continues, it is better not to tolerate, because, as experience shows, over time, this situation will only get worse. Say goodbye to the toxic person before he penetrates very deeply into your life.

Previously OBOZREVATEL published a list of toxic questions that you can not ask a woman not to spoil the relationship.

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