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These five mistakes kill love: the patterns of behavior that can destroy any marriage

Olha LipychLife
A psychologist has named behavioral patterns that can destroy any marriage

Even in a harmonious relationship, there is a routine – the way you talk to each other, react to difficulties or spend your weekends. A good routine is not a bad thing; it's worse if your actions in the relationship hurt your partner. Psychologists identify several patterns of behavior that can destroy even seemingly harmonious relationships.

For example, psychologist, therapist, and journalist Ewa Klepatska-Gryz writes in an article for the Polish publication zwierciadlo that emotions often cannot be controlled, but it is not the emotions themselves that destroy relationships, but their suppression.

"Unexperienced emotions create unconscious patterns of behavior –- and they often destroy your relationships. Especially with the person closest to you, because they are usually the generator, the trigger of the strongest feelings," the psychologist writes.

She identified 5 behaviors that can destroy a relationship.

Too much dependence on the partner

A relationship in which one person is very dependent on the other can become an addiction, and the relationship turns into a prison. The "I don't exist without my man" syndrome has destroyed many successful relationships.

Tip: try to regain at least a part of your independence. For example, a hobby that you can do without a partner. Or you will discover something you enjoy doing so much that you will forget about "me and my man" and feel the joy of being alone for a while.

Too much independence in the relationship

The opposite of the previous model. Your definition of a relationship is two independent people. When he wants to talk about the future together and you pretend not to hear, you are on the road to divorce.

Hint: Take a piece of paper and try to draw two circles, each representing you and your partner. Do these circles intersect? Do they have a common part, and if so, what is it? You may find that the circles do not even touch each other.

Hiding things that bother, annoy, or hurt you

This pattern of behavior leads to more and more omissions, disappointments, or small wounds that cannot be hidden over time. This pattern usually hides anger and feelings of resentment.

Try writing a letter to your partner that you will probably never show them. If you manage to put down on paper everything you feel in his presence, it may turn out that it's not about him.

The belief that if he loves you, he will change, and if he doesn't change, he doesn't love you

This pattern hides a deep desire for a symbiotic relationship, a belief in unconditional love and acceptance. That is girlish dreams of a prince on a white horse and the "happily ever after" scenario.

Instead of waiting for your partner to understand and give you everything you need, think about what you have to give and what you would like to receive.

As you do to me, so I do to you

This behavior often hides a feeling of uselessness, unworthiness of love, and disdain for your partner. What if each of you individually answered the following questions: "Do I believe that I can be loved?"

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