A psychologist named 10 mistakes women make and ruin relationships
Emma Kenny, a certified psychologist, named 10 mistakes that women often make in relationships. According to her, rash words, heatedly thrown phrases, and wrong actions cause a painful breakup.
The Sun reports the expert's words. The British woman gave effective recommendations on how to avoid quarrels with your significant other and strengthen trusting relationships, or realize that they need to be ended (to see the photo, scroll to the bottom of the page).
Too much time passes before an important conversation
The psychologist says that any relationship is the result of compromises and shared views on the future. If you put off discussing starting a family, having children, where to live, and other important issues for too long, you may end up wasting time and realizing that your partners have different ideas about the future.
"Studies show that it takes nine months before a relationship enters the negotiation stage. But if you define where you stand on important issues like marriage, children, or where you want to live, it can help avoid heartache," said Kenney.
Relationships are built on passion
The first months of a relationship are usually a mixture of lust, fun, and spontaneity, but choosing a partner based on sex life alone is doomed to failure, the expert says.
She recommends waiting 5 months until the active release of testosterone and estrogen in the body stops and taking a closer look at whether the lovers have enough common interests.
Comparison with the father
Emma Kenny warns that many women are accustomed to unconsciously comparing their chosen one to their father, which can negatively affect the relationship. If the father did not give his daughter something in childhood, she may demand it from her partner, who is not actually obliged to "treat" childhood traumas.
"If you compare him to a father who let you down and carry over your negative experience, rejecting many positive traits, then the relationship is doomed to fail."
Inability to accept compliments
Those who have low self-esteem are often unable to adequately accept a compliment without looking for a problem in themselves and a lie in their partner. Constantly responding to praise by saying that it's not true, you can end up humiliating yourself in the eyes of your lover and discourage them from saying nice things again.
Memories of the ex
According to the expert, it's not just talking about the ex that destroys relationships, but even thoughts. They can mean that the past life still affects the present, preventing a new romance from developing harmoniously.
"It's ugly because your new chosen one has nothing to do with your ex. No one wants to spend time with a new partner dissecting their previous love affairs. It's off-putting."
Choices during ovulation
Kenny emphasizes that during ovulation, women tend to choose brutal partners who may not be suitable for the role of husband and father of children in the future.
"We are instinctively programmed to choose such a partner because we believe that he will produce offspring. But if you need a faithful person who will stay by your side after the birth of a child, he is unlikely to be the best choice."
Trying to fit in with someone
The fear of being alone often pushes women to settle for less and adapt to a partner who may not share their life values and views at all, the psychologist says.
"The fear of being alone means that you can either end up settling for less than you deserve or adjusting to a partner who doesn't suit you, which won't make you happy."
Criticism of the style of clothing
In the first months between lovers, there is usually little criticism and a lot of compliments, but the flower and bouquet period quickly ends and is replaced by picky comments. If a woman has a desire to change her man's style, it's better not to, says Kenny.
"Accepting your partner for who he is is the only solution that guarantees you success in a long-term relationship."
Registering on a dating site
The psychologist says that to create a strong and trusting relationship, it is imperative to close the door to "other options." Systematic communication with men on dating sites can lead to comparing your chosen one with others.
Finally, the expert added that there are no perfect people, so in life you need to be able to come to terms with your partner's non-critical shortcomings, paying more attention to the advantages.
"Looking for reasons why a partner is not perfect is a recipe for disaster," said Emma Kenny.