7 simple tips to get closer and strengthen your relationship

Relationships require work even in the best of times. And with the advent of the pandemic, especially. It has created a new set of challenges and opportunities for many couples.

The NYT offers seven exercises for lovers to help them strengthen their bond. The tricks, based on scientific data, will be the key to a new relationship.

Keep an eye out for the good stuff

Identify at least five things your partner does regularly to show you love. Keep track of both the big and small things you do to feel loved and connected. Incorporate small things like a compliment or a kiss goodbye into your routine, or bigger gestures like buying flowers, cooking dinner, or cleaning. Studies show that in successful relationships, the number of positive interactions outnumber the number of negative moments by at least five to one.

Science also confirms the value of kindness and generosity towards your partner.

Hold hands

Be close to each other right now and look for opportunities to hold hands with your partner: sitting at breakfast, leaving the house, or watching TV. Then talk about what is causing stress and anxiety in your life. And whatever the conversation is about, hold your partner's hand.

Also, think about what it feels like to touch your partner, to feel your hand being squeezed, and to squeeze someone else's.

Research shows that regular touch is a powerful way to connect with someone, and it's also a way to reduce stress.

Read to each other

You'll be surprised how much fun it is to have someone read to you and someone you love. Don't just listen to the words; listen to your partner's voice. After reading, talk about why each of you chose this particular text.

Science shows that people become closer to each other when they reveal something about themselves and share new thoughts and ideas.

Accept small problems

Write down one or two of your partner's habits that occasionally create conflicts in the relationship. Share your choices and talk about them without judgment. Use the conversation to set a positive boundary that can help explain the behavior.

Researchers say that 70 percent of conflicts that arise with partners are never resolved. Instead of trying to force change, acceptance therapy encourages partners to learn to accept each other's differences. When people feel accepted and understood, they are more likely to be willing to change.

Share your ideal day

Imagine your ideal day and share it with your partner over a meal. Discuss it in as much detail as possible to reveal information about your likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. If you can, try to plan some version of each other's ideal day that you could experience together.

Researchers say that talking about your ideal day is a form of self-disclosure that can help you build a deeper connection with your partner.

Feel each other's heartbeat

Find just a few minutes with your partner in a quiet place. Prepare a one-minute timer and follow these steps:

• Stand facing each other.
• Each of you should place your right hand on the other's chest, right above the heart.
• Bring your left hand up to your chest and cover your partner's hand.
• One of you needs to let go for a second to start the timer.

• Spend the next minute looking into each other's eyes while your hands rest on each other's hearts and arms.
• Try not to giggle or talk. Be attentive to each other's breathing. Be present and silent together. When the timer goes off, take a breath. Discuss what it was like to experience this non-verbal connection with each other.

Science shows that eye contact and touch create a sense of intimacy. Research also shows that physical contact is crucial for creating and strengthening relationships, and it is linked to higher relationship and partner satisfaction. Conflicts are more likely to be resolved when one partner hugs, holds the other's hand or kisses the other.

Practice gratitude together

Write down three things about your partner that you feel grateful for. Take a moment to read what you wrote about each other. Talk about these moments of gratitude and how they make you feel more connected.

Expressing gratitude daily is a common mindfulness practice that has been shown to increase happiness, help you sleep better, and even reduce illness. Gratitude exercises can also help us feel closer to our romantic partners, strengthen our friendships, and even make us better colleagues at work.