These 5 mistakes kill love: behaviours that can destroy any marriage
Even the most harmonious relationships have a routine - the way you talk to each other, react to difficulties, or spend weekends. A good routine is not a bad thing; it's worse if your actions in the relationship hurt your partner. Psychologists have identified several behaviours that can destroy even the most harmonious of relationships.
For example, psychologist, therapist and journalist Ewa Klepacka-Gryz writes in an article for the Polish publication zwierciadlo that emotions are often out of control, but it is not the emotions themselves that destroy relationships, but their suppression.
"Unexperienced emotions create unconscious patterns of behaviour - and they often destroy your relationships. Especially with the person closest to you, because he or she is usually the generator, the trigger of the strongest feelings," the psychologist writes.
She identified 5 behaviours that can destroy a relationship.
Too much dependence on the partner
A relationship in which one person is too dependent on the other can become an addiction, and the relationship turns into a prison. The "I don't exist without my man" syndrome has destroyed many successful relationships.
Tip: try to regain at least a part of your independence. For example, a hobby that you can do without a partner. Or you will discover something you enjoy doing so much that you will forget about "me and my man" and feel the joy of being alone for a while.
Too much independence in the relationship
The opposite of the previous model. Your definition of a relationship is two independent people. When he wants to talk about the future together and you pretend not to hear, you are on the way to breaking up.
Hint: Take a piece of paper and try to draw two circles, each representing you and your partner. Do these circles intersect? Do they have a common part, and if so, what is it? You may find that the circles do not even touch each other.
Hiding things that bother, annoy or hurt you
This pattern of behaviour leads to more and more omissions, disappointments, or small wounds that cannot be hidden over time. This pattern usually hides anger and resentment.
Try writing a letter to your partner that you will probably never show them. If you manage to put down on paper everything you feel in his presence, it may turn out that it's not about him at all.
The belief that if he loves you, he will change, and if he doesn't, he doesn't love you
This pattern hides a deep desire for a symbiotic relationship, a belief in unconditional love and acceptance. That is, girlish dreams of a prince on a white horse and the "happily ever after" scenario.
Instead of waiting for your partner to come to his senses and give you everything you need, think about what you have to give and what you would like to receive.
As you give to me, I will give to you
This behaviour often hides a sense of uselessness, unworthiness of love, and contempt for your partner. What if each of you individually answered the questions: "Do I believe that I can be loved?"
As OBOZREVATEL previously reported, the psychologist named four signs that your relationship will be long-lasting and explained what to look for.